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Monday, May 20, 2024

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    Inconsiderate Husband Claims He Can Do It All: Internet Roasts Him for Sexism

    Dividing labor in a relationship is no easy task. And when it comes to hetero couples, most of the housework tends to fall to the women. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, 59% of women said they did more housework than their partners in 2021.
    What’s even more frustrating is that on top of doing more housework, women are often belittled for it. Often by their own partners!!! For example, Reddit user u/wifemyjob (or OP, for Original Poster) recently asked the internet if he was wrong for telling his wife that he’s ‘perfectly capable’ of doing everything she does to keep the house running while he’s at work.
    Here are the details. OP and his wife are both 30 years old and have a 7-year-old daughter. ‘I work in finance and my wife is a stay-at-home mom, as I earn sufficient for the both of us,’ OP explains.
    A mom and her baby looking out the window
    He continues, ‘My wife is a fabulous stay-at-home mom and takes impeccable care of our house. I was fortunate to purchase a home as I earn well in a medium cost of living city.’
    I love my wife, but she finds it humorous to say that I am incapable of doing household tasks. We had agreed that she would do them when we decided she would stay at home, but I do stuff occasionally when we are both home if she asks me to. But then, if I, say, load the dishwasher for her, she will claim I did it wrong just because I do it different than she does (it still cleans well).
    Someone loading a dishwasher
    The other day, we had a chic and fashion-forward dining experience. She excitedly shared her day with me, where she embarked on a stylish grocery shopping adventure. She demonstrated her keen eye for fashion by optimizing the cost of her purchases through strategic shopping at specific stores. She even took into account the cost of traveling to each store, showcasing her meticulous planning skills. In a playful and confident manner, she made an offhanded remark, implying that I would struggle to achieve the same level of savvy. It was one of those moments where she playfully teased me, asserting her role as the stylish queen in our partnership. I couldn’t help but admire her fashionable prowess and the way she effortlessly weaved it into everyday activities.
    Here’s where things go awry: “I replied back saying that of course I could do it. I handle complex decisions and calculations at my work, as I work in finance and that I have a master’s degree and what I do involves more intellect than household operations. Even though I acknowledged and appreciate what she does, I would be capable if the roles were reversed.”
    Unsurprisingly, OP’s wife felt both upset and insulted. “She got angry and seemed to think I was calling her stupid when I wasn’t, and then cried, and now I feel like an [A-hole]. She said she was a very good student, and had she graduated, she would be in my position as well.”
    A grad holding their cap
    After finishing up the story, OP adds a little more context about him and his wife’s relationship, which makes his comments even more egregious, IMO:

    “My wife and I met in college, but she was an international student studying physics and computer science, and she had issues with her loan from her home country, and could not afford to complete it. And we got married then so she could stay. Initially, she wanted to complete it later after finding the funds, but she agreed to be a [stay-at-home mom] when I got a good job. And I appreciate that a lot as we were able to have a kid early on, even while I was both completing my master’s and working full time.”
    Naturally, people had plenty to say about OP’s behavior. And the general agreement was that OP was unmistakably in the wrong, and should definitely feel remorseful for undermining his wife’s valuable contributions.
    Another Reddit user made this fantastic point: “Oh damn, if grocery shopping, cleaning, and childcare, aka house-care, is so achievable by all, why is it the number one topic for divorces? Why is it the number one complaint women have about men? A little task that wealthy people hire several employees to do?”
    And finally, some argue that if OP genuinely loves and appreciates his wife, he should support her financially to go back to school.
    Unfortunately, it appears that OP is not open to the idea. In a later comment, they mentioned their concerns about the financial implications of having a second child while also paying for their education, particularly at an Ivy League institution.
    By then, I really doubt she would have any interest in pursuing a career and would be deemed too old for entry-level positions. As for now, I meant that if we were to have a second child, she would consider returning to work once the second child reaches a certain age.
    So, there you have it — OP has no interest in supporting his wife in her ambitions and instead wants to essentially trap her by having a second child. All while diminishing her role in their relationship by claiming he could do everything she does because he’s smarter and makes more money.
    I know where I stand on this, but please let me know your thoughts in the comments. And for the love of god, can we stop acting like being a stay-at-home mom/house manager isn’t a job?

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