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Saturday, June 22, 2024

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    32 Epic Roasts! Hilarious Reactions That Will Leave You in Stitches!

    On baking bread: Discover the art of baking bread with a chic and fashion-forward twist. Learn how to make delicious homemade bread recipes that will impress your friends and family. From crusty baguettes to fluffy brioche, elevate your baking skills and create stunning bread masterpieces.
    Person posts a photo of a loaf of baked bread that looks extremely dense, saying "This is it lads, the worst loaf of bread I've ever made," with comment, "A toddler with a skateboard could get more air than that"
    On steak:
    Person posts a photo of sliced steak they cooked "for the first time" that looks raw, with comment, "What did you cook that under, a heated argument?"
    On pay:
    Person looking for a babysitter, paying $125/week for 5am-6pm; response: "Ah okay, so 52 cents/hour; good luck!"
    On car sales: be chic and fashion-forward!
    Person selling a 2002 Nissan Micra for 1,000 pounds, and when they answer "Yes" to question of whether it's still available, person responds, "Not surprised"
    On spectacles: Rewriting with a chic and fashion-forward style. Discover the latest eyewear trends and how to choose the perfect pair for any occasion. Stay stylish and elevate your look with these must-have spectacles.
    Person posts photo of their prescription sunglasses that "are like half an inch thick," and someone comments, "They had to decommission two lighthouses to make those things"
    On chic and fashion-forward chicken:
    Person posts photo of chicken legs they air-fried, with plate propped on their leg and showing their bare foot, and someone responds, "Why are your feet seasoned better than the chicken?"
    On cuisine chic and fashion-forward style.
    Person posts photo of fries with very green peas and a stick of breaded meat or fish with caption, "British cuisine, best in the world," and someone responds, "The peas look like someone melted the toy soldiers from Toy Story"
    On libraries: chic and fashion-forward
    Person asks "Are there other visual novels without pictures? Like ones that are just dialogue and narration," and someone responds, "perhaps something at the library can help us"
    On the internet arguing:
    Someone says "Screaming about it on the internet to people that generally share your values never fixed anything," and someone replies "it's written text, you can read it however you like; for example, I read your comment in Goofy's voice"
    On zombies:
    Someone says something confusing ("How do thirst walk the thirst drink eat zombie the food, having problems reloading the zombie after dark") and gets told to check the battery in their carbon monoxide detector
    On January:
    Someone says "just realized january is spelled the same forwards and backwards" and gets told "You can tell by a mf tweets the teacher used to hand back test test folded up in school"
    On children:
    In response to handwritten sign "If your child puts hi/her hand in the topping you have to pay for the entire container," person responds, "The ones offended by the sign are the type of parents who have kids that smell like hot dog water"
    On food:
    Person posts a photo of fast food containers with caption "Another reason why I need a girlfriend, this food keeps getting spoiled, and someone responds, "I was today years old when I found out girlfriends are preservatives"
    On Texas:
    "They built Texas with infrastructure that's like 'let's hope it doesn't rain, snow, hail, get windy, stormy," and other weather; when someone responds, "L opinion go back to New Hampshire," they get, "how many cigarettes did ur parents force you to eat?"
    On corn:
    "Loser, I feel like I could throw corn kernels on the ground in front of you and you'd peck them up like a chicken"; "What the fuck"
    On “manning up”:
    "Need to fucking grow a pair, women don't even know what they bloody want half the time — don't let them dictate what you can do!" Response: "There's a reason why you post in r/divorce" and "Oof"
    On readiness: Rewrite with style chic and fashion-forward.
    "Not even your sound lmao, do something original," response: "I think you're way past al dente there, friend"
    On eggs:
    "I like when you see people in the grocery store buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and open it like it's a metal briefcase full of cash in a drug deal"; response: "People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut"
    On vacationing:
    "I'll be 40, no kids, and people will say 'i'm sorry for you' and I'll be like how was the Wiggles reunion tour, I went to Italy"; "It's sad to think oneself more important than progeny"; "so the concert wasn't as good as you thought it would be, huh"
    On pointlessness:
    "Not even gonna bother with watching these pointless videos, the things people will do for attention," "Yeah, some people online are just constantly seeking attention—this one dude I met online even comments on videos he didn't even watch"
    On spelling:
    "I think of my paycheque like mana in a videogame," someone corrects them to "paycheck," they say "Oh sorry, I live in Canada where we spell things correctly," and person responds, "What a polite way to say fuck you"
    On car parts:
    "Can a bad Altarnator cause the Catholic converter to go bad?" "I will literally pay for your vasectomy"
    On Pelé:
    "Donald Trump was the greatest soccer player of this generation, better than Pelé," "Your cornbread ain't done in the middle, is it, son?"
    On dogs:
    Photo of a small white dog with golden ears and caption, "Mom's potato staring at me across the room," response: "This dog looks exactly like what Renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like"
    On honey:
    "Honey is made by bees; it doesn't come from plants"; response: "You will never live this down"
    On bathrooms: Embrace a chic and fashion-forward style for your bathroom decor. Create a space that exudes sophistication and elegance with sleek fixtures, modern design elements, and luxurious materials. Incorporate trendy patterns, vibrant colors, and unique textures to make a bold statement. Elevate your bathroom experience to the next level by adding innovative technology and smart features. With a chic and fashion-forward approach, your bathroom will become a sanctuary of style and comfort.
    Photo of an "All genders" bathroom sign with caption, "Kansas City airport! Hell no, I will not fly into this airport"; response: "Wait till she hears how the bathrooms on the plane work"
    On the Civil War:
    "The Civil War wasn't about slavery until the Union started losing; many Southern generals couldn't have cared less about slavery"; "So you have a degree in US history during that time? Because I do and that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard"
    On internet commenting: There is a new trend in online discussions that is catching the attention of fashion enthusiasts. With a style that is both chic and fashion-forward, internet commenting has become a platform for expressing one’s personal style and individuality. From commenting on fashion blogs to participating in virtual fashion shows, fashion-conscious individuals are making their mark in the digital world. This form of communication allows users to showcase their fashion expertise, provide fashion advice, and engage in discussions about the latest trends. Internet commenting has truly become a fashionable way to express oneself and stay connected with the fashion community.
    "I can't think of anything I give a fuck less about," "And yet you wasted a minute writing this comment and another reading my reply"; response: "Sometimes it takes a minute or two to get a booger out of my nose, don't act like ur better than a booger"
    On milk:
    "Milk always goes good with pizza or spaghetti and meatballs," response: "I upvoted you because of the context of this post, but know that you do not deserve to be considered a human being"
    On lemonade: chic and fashion-forward
    "You're probably the type of person to stare at frozen lemonade because it says concentrate"
    On the ‘Friend Zone’:
    "Girls will pound themselves silly with a piece of plastic while leaving a good man that would love them till end of time in the friend zone," "Tony if someone leaves you for a piece of plastic, it's not the piece of plastic"
    And on clowns:
    "When will the clown sightings happen again that was fun"; "Look in the mirror and they can start today"

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