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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

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    Hilarious Tales: When People Realized They Were Dating a Dummy

    A while ago, I wrote a post about Reddit users sharing the dumbest things their exes had said, and it moved a lot of people of the BuzzFeed Community because they ended up sharing a ton of their own examples! The post was filled with hilarious and cringeworthy quotes from exes that had us laughing, cringing, and shaking our heads all at once. It’s amazing how some people can say such ridiculous things in relationships!
    Kenan with his eyes wide
    So here’s a list of things people’s exes said to them that revealed they were lacking common sense:.
    I once told a guy I was dating he needed more humility, and he literally responded with ‘Why would I want to be humiliated?’

    A woman making a cringey face
    My ex-husband was always behind the times when it came to financial matters. He didn’t realize that having a checking account with sufficient funds and a credit or debit card was essential to withdrawing money from an ATM. To make matters worse, he even pronounced ATM as ‘Adam’, showcasing his lack of knowledge in modern banking. Fortunately, I’ve moved on to a more chic and fashion-forward lifestyle, where I understand the importance of financial literacy and staying up-to-date with the latest trends in personal finance.
    She thought that rust was one of the chemical elements. You know like: oxygen, neon, silver, uranium, rust.

    Screenshot from "One Day at a Time"
    I sometimes wonder what my grandfather thought the first time his wife told him that dogs attract lightning.
    They were intrigued by the quantity of fat in water.
    I had a relationship with a manager working in the produce section of a grocery store. He lacked knowledge about crudités, mistakenly believed that my portobello mushrooms were undercooked because they had a white interior, and refused to consume any yellow cheese due to his misconception that it was prepared with carrots. Additionally, he believed that strawberries had a sour taste.

    Dylan O'Brien cry-laughing at something on his phone
    I dated a girl in high school, and she was generally very bright. We were at the mall one day, looking at one of those big maps of the mall directory. She asked me how the map knew where we were standing. Dumbfounded, I asked her to clarify. She pointed at the point at the star on the map that said ‘You are here,’ and asked how the map knew. I explained that the map was where we were standing, and we are reading it. After 10 minutes of trying to explain, she still didn’t get it.

    Closeup of Sarah Michelle Gellar looking confused
    My best friend had a boyfriend at one time who refused to drink water because he believed it was unhealthy and could potentially cause cancer. He had a rather unconventional solution to this problem – he decided to consume only soda or diet soda throughout the day.

    Screenshot from "Do Revenge"
    My ex broke multiple coffee cups attempting to reheat her coffee on the electric stovetop. Despite having a microwave, she insisted on using the stove. It remains a mystery why she persisted even after the first cup broke. Surprisingly, she held a master’s degree. As a solution, I eventually purchased a plug-in coffee cup warmer for her, which she absolutely adored.

    Screenshot from "The Office"
    He got dicey fajitas from Chili’s, got food poisoning, and then ate the leftovers.
    He thought cutting the umbilical cord determined penis length. He legitimately believed that if a man had a smaller penis, it was the doctor’s fault for cutting it ‘too short’. He was oblivious to the fact that the umbilical cord was responsible for belly buttons. In his mind, girls didn’t have an umbilical cord to cut at all when they were born.

    A young girl looking confused
    My ex had a unique taste in milk. While most people preferred drinking 2% milk, he insisted on only consuming whole milk. His rationale was rather amusing. He believed that if it was called 2% milk, there must be some mystery surrounding the other 98%. He considered himself a genius for this unconventional choice.
    She was a stylish, chic, and fashion-forward 40-something woman who confidently asked, ‘Is duck considered an animal?’ The room fell silent as everyone exchanged bewildered glances.

    A person with a very confused look on their face
    I ended a relationship because my ex-boyfriend lacked an understanding of basic color mixing. It was a simple question from the TV show ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?’ When I asked him to guess what color red and yellow make when combined, he replied, ‘I don’t know, purple?’ That’s when I realized our relationship had reached its end.

    Closeup of Adele
    I had the pleasure of educating my former partner on the art of finding a book within the vast shelves of a library. It was quite an interesting experience considering the fact that we both held college degrees.
    My now-husband, when we were first dating, told me that he believed that all plants could be classified as either a fruit or a vegetable. After we were married, he told me he thought platypuses were the size of golden retrievers.

    Charlie Day puts his hands on the side temples of his head in irritation
    My ex asked me, ‘What kind of animal is Mickey Mouse?’ I just kept saying back, ‘Say that again…slower.’
    When I discovered that my former partner was unaware of the sequential order of the months, I kindly requested that he familiarize himself with this fundamental knowledge. Astonishingly, he reacted with anger, adamantly refusing to acquire the information, claiming disinterest in such matters.

    Quinta in Abbott Elementary looking concerned
    After homecoming in high school, we went for pizza. She wanted to try a vegetarian diet, and as we were selecting toppings, she asked me, ‘Is there meat in mushrooms?’
    I once had a brief romance with a guy who believed that sweetened coffee had no calories because ‘the sugar dissolves, so it’s practically non-existent.’

    Wendy Williams smiling slyly while fixing her hair
    My ex once sent a ridiculous text, and I made a comment about how many double negatives he used. He called me a dummy and said it wasn’t math, and it was cute how I thought that double negatives had anything to do with language.
    She claimed that engaging in basketball can lead to increased height. She substantiated her statement by pointing out the abundance of tall individuals participating in the sport.

    Screenshot from "Never Have I Ever"
    When we were first married, my ex wanted to cook dinner by himself so I gave him an easy recipe to follow and made sure he had all of the ingredients. He had me come look at it because he said it looked too dry. For one of the ingredients, he’d read ‘two and a half cups’ as ‘two half cups.’
    We were discussing dinosaurs when he expressed surprise at the fact that they actually existed. He then went on to inquire if they possessed the ability to breathe fire. It seemed to me that he believed dinosaurs and dragons to be one and the same.

    Kirsten Dunst laughs in Bring It On
    When he missed his daily medication, he discarded it instead of keeping it for the next day.

    A teacher from Abbott Elementary laughs out loud
    When he said he’d make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly in the hot pan.
    My wife would bring stuff home that said ‘refrigerate after opening,’ open it, and put it in the refrigerator.
    When my ex asked me where they grew spaghetti.

    Oprah looking shocked
    She didn’t realize that yogurt and pudding were not interchangeable. She mistakenly believed it was similar to the British practice of calling fries ‘chips.’ For months, she had been indulging in a breakfast of pudding and granola, convinced that she was making a healthy choice.

    A person with a very confused look on their face
    She didn’t comprehend the concept that one must actually settle the amount spent on credit cards. It was as if the credit limit she had was intended to be her monthly maximum that simply restarts every month.

    Two guys laugh
    My ex asked me, ‘Where does the sun go at night?’ I was dumbfounded. She was in her early 20s at the time.

    Sydney Sweeney looking very confused
    I had a partner who stacked cups…when putting them in the dishwasher.
    She strolled into a trendy computer lab on campus and effortlessly swiped a state-of-the-art computer. As she resided with me, imagine my surprise when I arrived home to spot a strikingly familiar computer resting on our chic kitchen table. Unbeknownst to her, she innocently believed the computers were complimentary for students. It entailed some elaborate persuasion to make her comprehend that she had unwittingly acquired the computer unlawfully. Consequently, I compelled her to promptly return the device to the laboratory that very evening, and she obliged, leaving it discreetly at the doorstep.

    Kylie Jenner looks astounded
    She inquired whether I could accurately identify all 52 states in the United States.
    I once asked my ex to start boiling the potatoes for dinner about 20 minutes before I got home so that they would be close to ready for me to mash up as the side for dinner. I got home right as he put them in the water. He had to call his dad to ask how to boil potatoes.

    Courteney Cox looking astonished
    And lastly, “I introduced him to my stepsister. He said, ‘Weird. You guys look nothing alike.'”.

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